Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My Mom

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverbs 31: 30 & 31

As I look over this past year it amazes me to think of all that has happened. Small things or rather common things like, Christmas, rearranging the furniture in my house, baking a pie and big things or once in a life time things like, Hadassah's 2nd birthday, the birth of our second daughter Kate and the moment my mom passed away just one year ago today. The memories, the changes and the growth that have occurred over this last year are tremendous.

There are so many specific times I remember. The Saturday before my mom past away Hadassah and I were down in Knappa visiting her and my dad. Mom wasn't feeling all that well but thought it best to just relax. I remember every hour or so she would get up and come out to the living room to play with Hadassah. She adored her. Hadassah was her first grandchild and she was elated to have a beautiful little girl running around the house. Two weeks after we were married, Shane and I became pregnant. I remember feeling sad that we wouldn't have much time to 'be married' before starting our family. As I look back today I believe God new exactly what he was doing. He wanted my mom to experience, on earth, the joy of having a grandchild. Hadassah brought her so much joy. I do believe today she is looking down from heaven and is experiencing perfect joy as she watches both Hadassah and Kate grow.

That Saturday night my dad took my mom into the emergency room. 3am Sunday morning we found out she had stomach cancer. I remember laying in bed crying, thinking, how was I going to clean out the basement, paint the house and get the pool up and running. How would all this get done with mom sick and at that moment, very distinctly God spoke into my life "be still and know that I am God." I almost jumped at the sound of His voice. God had spoken to me in the midst of my pain and grief. This would not be the last time God would speak to me over the coming months.

The next morning we drove in to see mom. I remember walking into her room and melting into tears as I saw my strong, rock of a mother lay there. She grabbed my hand and said "this is where our faith comes in." Mom always spoke wisdom into the lives of others. Over the next day she, with little strength would remind me how she loved me, that she was proud of me and that God was going to work all things together. She was transported to St. V's in Portland. That Sunday night they prepared her for surgery, we had a chance to talk with her again. I can so vividly see Hadassah jumping up on the hospital bed and mom saying "I love you Hadassah" looking to Shane to tell him she loved him and was proud of him and then hugging me and telling me she loved me. Had I have known that would be the last time I would be in my mom's arms or that I would hear her voice I am not sure I would have let go.

Monday morning at 7:15 my mom went to be with her heavenly father. The pain, fear and loneliness that I felt all at that moment still, at times, overwhelm me. But along with those feelings are the feelings of peace, joy and the reassurance the one day we will walk together on streets of gold.

Several hours after my mom passed away, my aunt Rita's mother also passed away. Aunt Rita tells me of a vision she had. My mom was standing there, in heaven saying "welcome Addy". That would have been my mom. I find so much joy in thinking of my mom in heaven with my grandma Salo, with Addy and so many others. I believe they are preparing that feast that is talked about in God's word. They are helping Christ prepare a place for us.

My mom taught me so much about life and a relationship with Christ. She was the ultimate host. She loved having people into her home. She welcomed anyone with opens arms. Every holiday was open to anyone we knew who may not have a family or a home to go to. She taught me the importance of being a help mate and the privilege of being a parent. I remember over the 30 years seeing my mom on her knees lifting her children and her husband up before the Lord. She loved her children and to her last breath she was selflessly thinking and caring for them.

As I think of what I have learned or how I have grown over this past year two things stand out in my mind. The peace that Christ brings and the importance of family. Moment by moment, through grief, pain, fear, joy, sadness, happiness and every other emotion I feel I also feel Christ right by my side. His word has spoken into my life over this year. Sunday night my mom was in surgery and Pastor Scott Gilchrist was sitting with us at the hospital, I remember the blanket of peace that lay over me as he read these words from the book of Psalms;

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such Knowledge is to wonderful for me,
to lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become the night around me,
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day.
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them
they would out number the gains of sand
when I awake, I am still with you.
Psalm 139:1-18

Over this last year I have grown to love my family more everyday. Shane has been a refuge and a comfort to me as I grieve my mom's death. As my husband he encourages me daily, loves me and lifts me up before the Lord. He has been a rock and a leader in our home. God truly new what he was doing when he brought Shane and I together.

I am so blessed to have two little girls with spunk and a joy for life. On days when I feel overwhelmed by sadness I look at Kate or Hadassah and see the pure joy that radiates in a child. They comfort me with there laughter and their tears. Just a weeks after my mom passed away Hadassah looked at me and said "I love you" for the first time. God knew I would need those words to sooth my hurting heart.

Since my mom's death Brenton, Lukas and Derek have become such good friends of mine. It sounds silly in a way to speak of my brothers as friends. But they have encouraged me, comforted me and shared grief with me. Each week we have 'family dinner' in order to continue being a close knit family. It's what my mom would have wanted. I believe she smiles each time she sees us together as a family.

As I sit here sipping my coffee, in my red cup (my mom loved the color red) I have such good memories of a loving mother, a devoted wife and a caring Mummu (grandmother). I will honor her by loving Christ, by nurturing my family and by putting others before myself. One day when we walk hand in hand I will tell her of the impact she made on my life and that of so many others. When I tell her these things she will point to Christ and Christ alone. For he was her rock.

I miss you, mom and I love you.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

July 22, 2008
Outside My Window...chairs and toys on the deck from company on Sunday night and company coming for dinner tonight.
I am is so nice my kids are both still sleeping and it's past 8am. Yah!
I am thankful husband who daily encourages me to be a better mom, wife, sister, daughter and child of the King.
From the kitchen...peaches canned yesterday are still on the counter, a few dishes, the ice cream maker needs to be put away from making fresh peach ice cream, making peach cobbler and peach muffins today (did I tell you I bought a huge box of peaches)
I am robe. I just got out of the shower. I can't figure out why I am never dressed nice when I sit down to my computer. One of these days I will tell you I am wearing a lovely flowered dress with my hair pinned in a bun with the light summer breeze blowing over me. (I know that would make my friend Tiffany happy:)
I am creating...a home, a sanctuary (of course this is a never ending story)
I am stay home all day.
I am reading...the book of Proverbs.
I am hoping...that my pizza turns out tonight.
I am hearing...the fan blowing and Hadassah eating her yogurt (yes, she is up now. I think I hear Kate too)
Around the house...wisteria flowers all over my floor, a few toys to be put away and more peaches to deal with.
One of my favorite things...a love story.
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: Wed Mom's in the Park and my brothers are coming for dinner, Thurs more berry picking, Friday we head to Knappa for Shane's drill, the weekend I will spend cleaning the rumpus room at my dad's and visiting my best friend Michelle.
Here is a picture thought I am sharing: The love of my life.
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Monday, July 21, 2008

A word about Pectin

Last Thursday Hadassah and I went berry picking. I went for raspberries but after I got there they informed me that their raspberry crop was almost finished and it would be difficult to get enough to make jam, so I decided to pick marionberries (which are my favorite). Hadassah and I picked for about an hour. Well, I picked and she ate. We finished with 17 lbs. Just enough to make some jam, a pie and to freeze some for pies this winter. They were beautiful and we were both so excited.
When we arrived home I realized I had no pectin to make jam so I made a pie, froze 4 bags of 4 cups each and saved the rest to make jam in the coming days. Busyness caught up with us and I didn't get the jam made. Saturday night I realized that I better do something with the berries or they were going to go to waste. However, I still had no pectin so I went to Safeway. All Safeway had was Sure-Jell . I have always used Pomona's Universal Pectin and have been very, very satisfied because I don't have to use tons of sugar to make already sweet berries into jam. Well, I didn't have time to run to Whole Foods so I just purchased the Sure-Jell. What a mistake!!
When I got home I prepared the berries and took out the instructions. I looked down to the raspberry/blackberry recipe for freezer jam. This is the outrageous part. 3 cups of smashed berries and 5 1/4 c. of sugar. Yes, you read that correctly almost double the sugar to berries. And the instructions read if you do not use the proper amount of sugar your jam will not turn out. So I made jam with more sugar than anyone should consume in an entire year. It is way to sweet. But my berries did not go to waste. I guess I will be gifting really sweet jam for Christmas this year.
I have decided to go marionberry picking again this week and also blueberry picking. We will take those berries down to Knappa make jam and freeze the rest for winter. Do note that I will never run out of pectin again.
So, my advice on making jam. Just take the time to go get Pomona's Pectin. It is great stuff.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Rhubarb, Rhubarb, Rhubarb

As I said I have or had rhubarb coming out of my ears. I love rhubarb. When I was a kid my grandma use to make a rhubarb dessert soup that we would put fresh cream over. It was wonderful served on a hot day. She also made rhubarb pie, not strawberry rhubarb just rhubarb. Mmm, so good! I have not attempted a rhubarb pie but hope to this week. Yesterday was family dinner night (will explain in a later post) so I made rhubarb cake. This is a very tasty, wonderfully moist cake. I would like to give some credit for this recipe but all I know is that my mom made it and passed it on to me. Here is the recipe.

Rhubarb Cake

1/2 c. butter
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 egg beaten
2 c. Flour
1 tea. baking soda
2 c. rhubarb (I add more just because I love the taste)
1 c. sour milk (2 tbls vinegar, finish cup with milk, let stand until it starts to curdle, 1 min. or so)
1 tsp. vanilla

1/4 c. butter
1 tea. cinnamon
1/4 c. sugar
crumble with pastry blender or fork

Mix all ingredients together, pour into a 9x13in pan, add topping and put in a 350 degree oven for 45 min. Or double the recipe and put in a 11x15in pan for the same amount of time.

I truly believe and try to live by the principles of Nourishing Traditions (by Sally Fallon). As you can see this recipe does not follow any of those principles (except the butter). I am going to work with the recipe next week to make it more healthy. These are the things I am thinking. I will replace the white flour with whole wheat flour and soak the flour in the sour milk for 12-24 hours. I am also thinking I may try to use buttermilk instead of the sour milk for soaking. The other major issue is the sugar. I have not worked much with sugar replacement. I use honey in several recipes but I have never replaced honey for sugar. I could try stevia, rapadura or some other natural sweetener. If you have any ideas send them my way. I will re-post the recipe with the healthy changes.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 (Happy Birthday Meyer)

Outside My Window...The sun is shinning, hot and the wisteria is growing out of control.
I am thinking...I should take a short power nap.
I am thankful for...My children. They bless me each and every day.
From the kitchen...Some dishes but later today I will begin a sourdough starter, soak flour for rhubarb cake (I have rhubarb coming out of my ears) and making pasta and salad for dinner with mango ice cream for desert (homemade, of course).
I am wearing...A light cotton tank top (which is soothing to my massive sun burn) and my pajama pants (late start today) embarrassing, I know.
I am home management binder and monthly schedule.
I am stay home all day.
I am reading...The Good Book and The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot.
I am hoping...the temperature stays down so I don't have to turn on the AC.
I am hearing...the fan blowing.
Around the is quiet. Everyone is napping. There are toys to be picked up after nap time and garage sale piles to be priced and sorted.
One of my favorite things...a full night of sleep.
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: Raspberry picking on Thurs, Mom's in the Park on Wed, visit Grandma Dykstra on Friday, making whey and saurkraut throughout the week and spending the weekend enjoying my husband and kids.
Here is picture thought I am sharing...My first pie. Yes, my mother and my grandma Salo were the master pie makers but sadly I never had the chance to learn from them. So, I have been taking their recipes and working to perfect them. My brothers say, I am second best. That will do, for now. Making pies has also been a great way to share memories about my mom and grandmother with my kids.

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